by Allie Savage
You’ve heard the term “It takes a village”, right? But what happens when you step outside your home and realize that your community is looking more and more spread apart – your village is non-existent.
The sense of community that a “Village” implies is the natural, human-nature based way of life. Back in the day (we’re talking waaay back in the day) you personally knew every single person in your community, you shared in the joys and in the sadness of others, and of course, you all collectively helped care for the children (who were free to roam the entire community because it was just that awesome). Every mother (and father too) would have had a specific role and contribute to the group as well. Decisions were made as a collective group, and the weight of every day life was not placed on any one individual.
This style of living completely changed when people started to earn their own wealth and the thought of moving “away” to your own land was most desirable. Add in modern medicine telling us that they know how we should give birth more efficiently…away from their community, away from family, in a hospital without any control over our bodies, and women began to find themselves more alone than ever.
As mothers, today, we are now tasked with raising our babies in this new independent environment. Not only do we feel alone in many of the decisions we make for our families, we also have to step into the social media world and take note of the hundreds of new ways that we’re just inadequate – how we’re just plain messing up our kids. It’s a heavy, heavy burden! Without our village, it is so easy to let anxiety or depression take control over our lives, it’s so easy to forget what “normal” looks and feels like, we can feel like everyone else has their ish together, and we’re over here struggling alone.
At the Livingston County Birth Circle, it is our goal and passion and entire mission to help our mamas cultivate this sense of community – even if it’s through the magic of the internet and by making time to meet in person every month. The LCBC is so much more than birth support – it’s a place where mothers can feel free to just be themselves. Free of judgement, free of any kind of agenda, it’s just a big giant group hug for anyone who needs one (and I’ll tell you right now, you need one, even if you don’t think you do). When you meet with other like-minded mamas, you realize that you are so far from alone in this crazy ride. You can find other moms with similar-aged children to start play dates, you can finally get some real mothering advice that doesn’t make you feel like you’re doing everything wrong. It’s just seriously the biggest mom tip that I will ever give anyone ever – find your people and find them fast!
Why is important to find your “people” now, when you’re expecting your first little one? Once you become a parent, it’s honestly hard to start anything new, it’s hard to commit to something for the first time when you’re just trying to remember how many times your babe has pooped today. Having an established support group is such a lifesaver! Having this online village is of course, amazing, but it’s really meeting in person where you’ll start to feel like you’ve finally found your people.
Should you still attend and participate even when you are done having children? Even when your littles are not so little? Heck. Yes! In fact, you’re probably the most important part of this whole community! You bring the wisdom that comes from years of motherhood behind you! We need you the most! You never graduate from being a mama, you never stop needing a community.
Whether you attend every month just to get a couple of kid-free hours away from home, or you are attending to prepare yourself for your upcoming birth or pregnancy, we so welcome you with open arms! Welcome to your village!